I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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