Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
