It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
