ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
