i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
