the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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