Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
