Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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