Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
