erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
