it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
