The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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