I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
