he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
