Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
