that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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