i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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