I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
