I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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