Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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