come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
