So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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