I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
