how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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