go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
