She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
