but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
