is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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