Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
