Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
