I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
