ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
