i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
