google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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