and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The adults are the big ones right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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