Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
