my phone needs a breathalizer
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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