you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
