I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this boner is exhausting
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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