Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
