Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
