sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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