I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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