And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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