i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
