so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
