I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
