hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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