why do cheetos always look like penises
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
