just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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