Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
